Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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