my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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