Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
