Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
