You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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