Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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