Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
