Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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