ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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