just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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