I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize