For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
