she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
