ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
