Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
