I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
