tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
