theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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