Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
