i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
