i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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