I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
third nipple confirmed
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
