and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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