C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
