he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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