I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
