I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
