Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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