whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
