this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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