I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
