So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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