he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
