Porn is love you can see.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Less talking, more tequila
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
