Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
