If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He better not be in your backpack
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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