My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
