Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
