she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize