I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
