The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize