I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize