the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize