ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
