i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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