i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
