i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
