week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
