if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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