I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
