she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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