went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
