Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
