No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
