May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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