covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
do herpes really smell.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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