So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
