I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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