I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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