I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
