four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
