Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
