i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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