he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
