ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
