Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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