Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
