Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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