I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize