New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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