Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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