return my video game
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize