I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
