When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
