Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
smell my finger.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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