she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
