I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
