found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
