I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
