Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
