Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
